Anxiously Attached
Could this be me?
Anxious Attachment
People with an anxious attachment style deeply desire closeness and connection but often worry just as deeply about being abandoned or rejected.
They can be highly sensitive to shifts in their relationships, sometimes becoming clingy or seeking constant reassurance.
Fear of not being loved or valued can lead to emotional ups and downs. Beneath it all there is a strong desire for connection and reassurance.
Watch a short 2 minute intro video below to learn more.
Anxious Attachment Intro
Other attachment styles:
Avoidant
People with avoidant attachment tend to value independence and emotional distance, often finding it challenging to open up or rely on others.
They might suppress their emotions and keep others at arm’s length, fearing vulnerability or feeling overwhelmed by intimacy.
While they still care about relationships, they may struggle to fully engage in deep emotional connections.
Anxiously attached partners are often drawn to avoidant partners and form fast bonds. But as the relationship progresses, a push/pull dynamic can emerge. The anxiously attached partner reaches out for reassurance and this pushes the avoidant partner away.
Fearful-Avoidant
Fearful-Avoidant (also known as Disorganized) combines both anxious and avoidant traits.
These people desire closeness but also fear it, creating a push-pull dynamic in relationships.
They often struggle with trust and can have unpredictable reactions to intimacy.
Secure
Securely attached people feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence.
They trust that their needs will be met and approach relationships with confidence and openness.
They generally healthily handle conflict, feeling secure in their worth, and can give and receive love freely.
What is your attachment style?
How can someone become secure?
Overcoming Anxious Attachment: A Journey Towards Secure Connection
Understand how it works
It all begins with understanding the patterns that drive anxious attachment.
These patterns often arise from unmet needs in childhood, where affection and attention may have felt inconsistent.
It's about seeing that anxious thoughts—like fearing abandonment or overanalyzing behaviors—are simply habitual responses, not truths.
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Self-inquiry and awareness
Healing requires us to gently question the patterns we’ve carried with us.
Are the same dynamics playing over and over in your relationships? Why? What is the root cause?
By identifying these deeper patterns, we can uncover the limiting beliefs and intimacy fears that hold us back.
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Learning new behaviors
Awareness is just the beginning; then comes the learning of new behaviors, including:
Expressing needs openly and clearly
Setting and respecting boundaries
Healthy communication and emotional regulation
By learning new behaviors, we can set ourselves up for a more secure attachment.
Practice. patience and time
Overcoming attachment wounds takes time. As life unfolds, we encounter situations that test how far we’ve come.
These moments are not setbacks but opportunities to practice our newfound understanding and behaviors.
Each experience teaches us about our progress and reminds us that healing is a journey, not a destination.
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It is possible for you.
Love School Can Help
Love School can accelerate your path to secure attachment, helping you feel more calm, peaceful and less anxious.
Healing from anxious attachment is a transformative experience, but it can feel overwhelming when you’re trying to navigate it on your own. With the right support and guidance, this journey becomes more manageable and nurturing.
At Love School, we offer a three-pillar approach—coaching, coursework, and community—designed to provide you with the tools and insights you need to grow. All of this is available at a monthly rate of $99, for as long as you need support.
Coaching
Instant access to Psychologists and Coaches
Get immediate insight on what you’re going through right now.
Connect with coaches over DM chat.
Join live group therapy sessions daily.
Optional schedule 1:1 therapy sessions for discounted rate of 4 for $399
Coursework
Access to all 23 course modules and videos
You’ll get started with lessons on attachment styles, overcoming insecurity, mastering emotions, relationships and more.
Essential tools that you can take with you anywhere.
Exercises that help you gain clarity during anxious times.
Insight into yourself and your partners — past, present, and future.
Community
Your invitation to our 24/7 online community space
We’ve built a beautiful environment where members share stories, chat, attend group sessions, take in new daily content, and sometimes just hang out. Simply: friends and peers help the healing process.
Once you join you will receive your invitation to come in and say hello. Members just like you are waiting to welcome you.
85%
of Love School members reported a significant decrease in their relationship anxiety in as little as two weeks
The first step to joining Love School is to take our attachment quiz.