Let me know if this sounds familiar..

They’ve been on your mind for hours.  OK, maybe days.  

You’re replaying the last conversation in your head, over and over. Analyzing every word, every pause. Checking your phone, feeling that pang of disappointment when there’s nothing new. Wondering if you should reach out—or if that would just make things worse.

What are they thinking?  Are they thinking about you?  Why didn’t they text?  Why did they say that?  What does it mean?  What does it say about their feelings?  

When you realize how much time you’ve spent this way, the frustration and shame kicks in.  

Pretty soon there’s not much room left to think about the other parts of life.  It has a way of taking over our every third thought.  Sometimes more. 

And all we really want is actually very simple.  Why can’t they just ….? And this thought too creates another thought, and the cycle continues…

If you can relate to this - you’re not alone.  If you feel like it’s getting out of hand, if it’s affecting your days and nights, if you feel yourself getting more and more sucked into this rumination cycle, then there’s something you can do about it.

You’re here because you’re self-aware enough to know that this is happening. That’s only something like 13.5% of people, so good for you. Something in you knows deep down, that you deserve better than this spiral. Something in you has optimism that you can have peace of mind, and security in your relationships. That’s strength. That’s wisdom. It’s a part of you that can grow.

Our program teaches you how to identify and pilot your own mind.  I’m serious.  One of the things we learn is how to recognize these cycles, soothe ourselves, and stop them from becoming all-consuming before we’ve spent hours or days feeling this way.  We invite that part of ourselves that knows it deserves more to the forefront.  We nurture and grow it. You have to let go of the idea that it’s a quick fix “trick”. It’s not. But you can achieve it.

Once you’ve done this, and you have some peace of mind, it has a tremendous effect on the way you show up in relationships:

• You’ll feel less needy

• You’ll meet more of your own needs 

• You’ll feel and act more secure

• You’ll get your mind back for living your life

And all those things have a way of making you a much more attractive partner.  People come to you. It’s an incredible bonus.

So - the real reason you want to get this under control is not for somebody else, or to make your partner do what you want them to do.  It’s for you. It’s for your experience here, while you’re living your one and only life.  But it also has a way of bringing some very welcome side-effects in your relationships.  You can get what you want- without having to obsess over anyone else. Consider that a perk.

Love School is a place first and foremost - to learn Love for yourself.  All Love that you offer someone else is built on this Love.  You want it to be a secure Love.  The inner critic inside of you that tells you that you’re not enough, or that you're something less than Loveable, or that you should accept behavior from others that you know is not OK - it’s wrong. It’s biased by your own inner view.  But that same critic sees and judges others too.  We want to get that under control.

All of these things have a known point of origin.  Someplace, somewhere, someone taught you how to Love.  You may think it’s personal and something you figured out on your own.  But the truth is that you’ve been taking cues on this your whole life.  It began with your parents and caretakers.  Long before you had a chance to shape the world around you, it was shaping you and you even didn’t realize it was happening.  It led you to form the adaptive behaviors that cause you to be hyper-vigilant, anxious, and feel like you can’t trust others. You can learn to see how this happens and stop it before it leads to defensive sabotage.

In the program you’ll learn about the ways in which you form attachments to other people.  Some of these attachments are healthy and some are objectively harmful to you and your relationships.  But none of these are your fault.  You have lived experiences that led you to be the way you are.  And you’re not alone.  2 in 5 adults have what’s called an ‘insecure attachment style’.  And you can find out how it came to be.

It usually starts with our early childhood experiences.  It’s not about whether they were good or bad, or the best, or the worst.  It’s about how our bodies learned to regulate themselves to our perceptions of fear and danger.  It’s about the ways we learn to protect ourselves.  Even if our parents and our partners did the best they could, it may not have been enough to reassure us, and to help us feel secure. If you’ve felt insecure your whole life, I have really wonderful news for you:  you can absolutely change that.  It’s never too late.

The first unit of the Love School course takes you through attachment theory, its known points of origin, and most importantly- what you can do about it.

In the community, you’ll join a group of peers who are serious about their healing, all on a growth path.  We help each other along every day and share wins and lessons.  It’s private social media with like-minded friends who know what you’re going through and how to support you.  You don’t have to do this alone.

Coaches (our resident experts) are here 7 days a week to answer questions, help you through when you stumble, and they hold daily group therapy sessions to help you explore even more deeply.

And those same coaches are there for you if you choose to schedule 1:1 sessions.  As a Love School member you’ll always have a 33% discount on those.  They cost just a fraction of what most in-office programs do.

What can you expect?

• Decreasing relationship anxiety.

  • Something we track very closely is the level of relationship anxiety we’re feeling every day.  Many members begin to feel better after their first week.  And it just continues as you make your way through the course. In our analysis of over 10,000 reports of relationship anxiety - 85% of members reported a sustained decrease in their relationship anxiety after just 10 entries.  You’ll learn the tools you need to keep that peace of mind and see your relationships and how you show up in them in a whole new light. This insight can last a lifetime.

• Time commitment

  • Love School is self paced, but it’s designed to be completed in as little as 3 months.  And it is structured week by week.  Just enough structure to help keep you going, but no stress. We’re all here to work on ourselves, but everybody’s lives are different- Love School is the support that’s always there for you, even when life happens and you need to pace yourself. (The full course syllabus is listed below)

• Price

  • Your first month is just $49. After that, if you’re invited to join Love School, your monthly tuition is $99.  You can cancel anytime. 

  • If you’re not ready to apply for the community yet, we also have a free trial program. You’ll get the first unit of our attachment course to try, and access to monthly group events.

• What’s with the community?

  • It’s private social media. It’s a safe environment of support and growth. It’s a community of peers that lift you up (and honestly- restore your faith in humanity). Coaches post daily bite videos and hold daily live group events. It’s an ongoing discussion that evolves every day.

  • It’s also a repository of hundreds of hours of live group sessions, Q&As, and workshops- so you can see how others have navigated what you’re facing- authentically.

So that’s our primer. I hope it was helpful, and that you feel a little better. (While you were reading this, were you still thinking about them, or were you thinking about yourself? Worth noting. 🤔)

I wish I could tell you ‘one weird trick’ to get what you want. But that’s a fantasy. Healing is not a quick fix. Anybody who tells you it is doesn’t know that they’re talking about. But even though it takes some work, it’s still absolutely in your ability to do. And we’ve made it as easy at it can be.

So I’ll leave you with just a couple questions to ponder as you make your next decision:

• What would it mean to your life if you didn’t have to feel this way anymore?

• What would it be like to be secure in your relationships and get your peace of mind back?

• Honestly - what do you have to lose, and what do you have to gain?

I’ll leave you to your deliberations.. Try not to overthink it OK? 😉