What is Anxious Attachment?

The Science

Nearly half of people have an insecure attachment style.

  • Research spanning decades shows us how insecure attachment plays out in adulthood.

    Insecure attachment styles are linked to higher levels of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Approximately 40% of the general population is thought to have an insecure attachment style. Addressing attachment issues has been shown to dramatically improve a wide variety of mental health outcomes.

The Psychology

Attachment styles typically form during childhood.

  • Children of authoritarian parents are discouraged from fully expressing their thoughts and feelings in childhood.

    Authoritarian parents can be highly demanding but not responsive. They enforce strict rules and expect obedience without question. There is little room for open dialogue or consideration of the child's feelings or opinions.

    Impact on Attachment: This parenting style can lead to anxious or avoidant attachment styles. Children may feel undervalued and overly controlled, leading to anxiety or a tendency to avoid closeness to protect themselves from criticism.

  • Sometimes also called absent parenting or neglectful parenting. Uninvolved parents are neither responsive nor demanding. They provide minimal attention, support, or guidance to their children. Basic needs might be met, but emotional involvement is low.

    Impact on Attachment: This style often results in disorganized or insecure attachment. Children may feel neglected and abandoned, leading to severe trust issues and difficulties in forming healthy relationships.

  • Description: Permissive parents are responsive but not demanding. They are lenient, avoid confrontation, and often act more like a friend than a parent. Rules are few and inconsistently enforced.

    Impact on Attachment: This style can contribute to insecure attachment. Children may struggle with self-discipline and self-control, leading to anxious attachment as they seek boundaries and security.

The Biology

Insecure attachment can have effects on the body.

  • Trauma is not an absolute scale. When the body processes trauma it reconfigures itself.

    It has to do with the way that our nervous systems respond to fear.

    Life is full of fears and events that we don't always get adequate support or time to recover from.

    When our bodies process these experiences it changes the way we react to things that cause us discomfort. This pattern follows us into adulthood.

  • Insecure attachment can lead to poor emotional regulation, causing us to experience intense and prolonged negative emotions. These emotional difficulties can result in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, overeating, or love addiction.

    Unhealthy coping behaviors can increase the risk of obesity, hypertension, gastrointestinal issues, and metabolic syndrome. Additionally, poor emotional regulation is linked to higher levels of inflammation and oxidative stress, both of which contribute to a variety of physical ailments (Psychology Today) (Nancy Levin).

  • Insecure attachment may contribute to unhealthy coping behaviors which compromise health. Often this includes poor diet, inadequate sleep, smoking, and lack of exercise.

    These behaviors increase the risk of developing chronic diseases, such as heart disease, respiratory illnesses, and certain cancers. Additionally, inadequate sleep and poor nutrition can further exacerbate stress and emotional dysregulation, creating a vicious cycle of poor health (Ruby Warrington) (Nancy Levin).

  • Insecure attachment can cause us to experience chronic stress due to heightened anxiety and difficulties in forming stable relationships. This chronic stress activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to prolonged release of cortisol, a stress hormone.

    Elevated cortisol levels over time can suppress immune function, increase inflammation, and contribute to the development of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and other chronic conditions (Psychology Today) (PsyPost - Psychology News).

  • Emotional and psychological distress can manifest as physical symptoms. People with insecure attachment often report higher levels of psychosomatic complaints, such as headaches, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal problems.

    Chronic psychosomatic symptoms can lead to us to constantly seek medical treatment and enjoy generally poorer overall physical health. These symptoms are often exacerbated by the individual's heightened sensitivity to stress and their difficulties in seeking appropriate medical care due to trust issues (Nancy Levin).

Can you relate?

Anxious attachment can change the way we see ourselves.

  • Do you feel less secure in your relationships than your friends or partners ?

  • Do you feel like you must pretend to be something in order to be loveable ?

  • Do you feel unappreciated or unwanted in your relationships ?

  • Do you have a hard time trusting ?

You are not alone.

The Power of Community:

The Love Addicts community is a place to heal. Each of us are on our own healing journeys, and we share our wins and our lessons together.

  • You’ll meet people who share freely and offer you support as you navigate your own journey.

  • When you join the community you will learn and grow, and you will help others to do this as well.

  • Very powerful things happen when we see our own experience is remarkably similar to our friends and peers.

  • The community is always there for you, 24 hours a day.

Clarity in Coaching

The Love Addicts team includes Psychologists and Life Coaches. Each one is an incredibly compassionate and talented person who has made it their goal to help you heal.

  • You can DM with them as soon as you join.

  • Your membership includes free daily group sessions, and access to this team of coaches through the community forums.

  • You can also schedule 1:1 sessions with your favorite coach or therapist for a fraction of the price of most in-office therapy.

“ What you seek is seeking you. ”

— Rumi

Imagine a person who gives you the loving attention you need.  Someone whose focus is on being there and supporting you, whenever you need them.

How would this person change your life? What would be possible for you?

We will introduce you to this person.

  • We help you to learn ways to know and support your own needs.

  • To be there for yourself.  To reassure yourself.  To soothe and quiet your mind.

  • You can become the person you’ve imagined. We will show you how.

What healing can look like

  • A quiet, peaceful moment together, without constantly wondering what they are thinking.

  • Discovering our ability to soothe ourselves.

  • Being able sit in the company of another person and enjoy their presence, without expectation.

  • The ability to soothe your own mind, without the need for anything external.

  • Experiencing a more complete love in the comfort of a secure relationship.

What’s Included In a Love Addicts membership?

In short, everything you need to begin to feel secure, and heal.

Courses:

You will receive access to 23+ courses on every aspect of insecure attachment. These courses will show you exactly what to do.

Course breakdown:

  • The basics. What is anxious attachment, where it comes from, how it manifests, and how you can heal it.

  • A course that teaches you how to integrate value, acceptance, lovableness, trust, and extroversion into your life.

  • How to regulate your emotions in a healthy way, without damaging your relationship with someone.

  • How to develop a healthy identity in which you are your own individual and can express yourself.

  • How to build and maintain a healthy relationship that lasts and is full of love, intimacy, and desire.

  • How to open up to others, be vulnerable, and invite connection into your life.

  • How to develop a healthy and positive self-image that will help you feel comfortable and secure with anyone.

  • Develop the ability to define your boundaries, set them, and voice them to others when needed, in a healthy way.

  • What is codepedency, how does it manifest in your relationship, and what can you do about it.

  • How to get over the feeling of being addicted to love, or to someone, and break free.

  • Understand people with an avoidant attachment style and the dynamics this brings into a relationship.

And so much more. Including meditations, daily content, live group sessions, previous session recordings, and new courses each week.

Community and Psychologists:

Once you join Love Addicts, you will be part of a community of over 3,000 people going through the same pain.

The community contains spaces and a chat where you could post or vent, and is moderated by psychologists who will answer all of your questions.

We also have daily videos to help you learn about your attachment style and stay in the mindset of healing and security.

Shared Success.

Love Addicts members are some of the most amazing people you will ever meet. We are proud of the reputation we have earned, together.

3,181 Members And Growing.

  • "Thank you. I'm grateful to have found you and this community. It has literally begun to help within the first day."

  • "I didn’t realize how much I really needed it until I sent my first chat last night and it’s already made a positive impact on how I communicate my feelings with my partner! Really grateful for this outlet."

  • "This website has helped me so much!  Every time I log on I understand myself better and realize I’m not crazy!"

  • "Listening to the courses has really helped me understand what not to continue doing!  It's not easy but I started working on this a week ago and it's helped "us" tremendously!"

  • "This program has probably saved my relationship with a girl I love."

  • "I feel really grateful to have discovered this support. Hearing myself within the description felt so relieving because I know that I am on the way to getting the help that I need."

  • "Such a relief to understand why I act the way I do.  This website has helped me tremendously!"

  • "I’m 3 weeks out from the FINAL breakup and beginning to heal, feeling strong enough for the first time to not fall back to him. Thank you Nour for this community!"

  • "I’m so glad I have this program to fall back on. I’m glad we can all share and grow together. "

  • "Thank you for all your help and for all the content in your course! It truly has helped me especially during some of my darkest days!"

  • "The courses provided on this website not only has given me new coping mechanisms to overcome my neediness and clinginess, but it also has given me tools to learn how love myself. "

  • "Nour - great work at explaining your knowledge in a way that is easy to understand and process. Your work is an answered prayer. "

Our program is devoted to helping you to feel better and overcome your insecure attachment from the moment you join. 

Healing is not a quick fix process, but you can begin to heal and you can feel better today.

You’ve already taken the first step by reading this.